Virtual Connection

“Good morning 😘😘😘☕” This was the beginning of a new virtual relationship, that honestly became comfortable quickly, not unlike an ol’ married couple. We slipped into a routine. I sat reading his texts with my morning coffee as he continued, “In the exam room waiting for my doc appointment, then treatment. Doc talked about treatment ending in two years, so that’s something.”

“What happens during treatment?” I was curious about how all of this works.

“I have injections every two weeks and sometimes meet with a doctor for any updates on my labs. They take blood every visit.”

“That can’t be easy,” I empathized with how much he had to go through with frequent doctor visits. 

“Routine now, I’m used to it,” he texted. 

“I had a thought about you this morning,” 

“You did?” 

“I did 😏” I teased back. 

“Are you going to tell me?” 

“I suppose,” I was enjoying the play. 

“I’m waiting,” he texted. 

“Well, professor, I walk by you in the school yard,” I sent. 

“We don’t have school yards in college,” he piped back.

“You do in this one. My hand brushes by your mid section, walking around you slowly and across your lower back,” I write.

“I like where this is going,” he said. 

“And I walk off,” I laughed a bit.

“Oh no, you don’t. I grab your hand and wrap you into my arms, kissing you hard.” My heart beat faster reading what he described. God, I wanted that more than I cared to admit.

“Hmm, 💋I like that,” I said. 

“Me too, I think about kissing you all the time,” he continued.

“This is where the virtual part kinda sucks,” I sighed. 

“I know,” he said. “It’s getting harder.”

“Much harder,” I responded. 

“Bowie, I need to be real with you. A little vulnerable for me,” I hesitated. I felt nerves all over, but I wanted to tell him how I was feeling. It had been a couple of months constantly talking every day. 

“Go on,” he urged.

“So, I know this guy right. Met him online,” I started.

“You met him online huh? When?” He pressed with curiosity. 

“I did, a while ago. And I wanted to thank him.” 

“Thank him, what’d he do?” He was intrigued. 

“He gives me all of these thoughts. These feelings. He talks to me about the most mundane things that make me laugh, from what’s for dinner, to how to choose the right tomato to the weather. In fact, we love talking about the weather, not a day goes by without asking if there is a chance of rain,” I laughed as I typed this out. 

“Well, he sounds like a bit of a bore 😜” 

“He makes up for it with how hot he is.”

“Ah, he must be pretty damn hot to put up with the weather,”

“Yeh, he is and his voice, specially when he’s in the studio, hmm, can’t get enough of it,” 

“He’s sounding better,”

“Yeh, the hard part though is that I can’t see him and every day it gets harder and I’m not sure I can keep going like this. Not sure what to do about it. What do you think?” I asked. 

“I can see the struggle,”

“It’s part comedy, part tragedy,”

“I completely get the comedy, tragedy part, but I would add romance and sex.”

“That too,” I said.

“Obviously, the struggle is real, Rory. I feel how hard it is, mentally and physically 😈 but I also feel how good and special it is and how you make me feel. For me, the good outweighs the bad.”

“Real and I’m worried, what if I lose him?”

“I realize that I could lose you or you me at any time for any reason and also on my side a known thing. Does that scare me? Hell yes! But not enough to stop me from being in this with every fiber of my being.” I felt warm and slightly sad at the same time. He continued, “I appreciate you sharing your heart with me. There are no limits to how deeply I want to know you and yes, this includes carnally, btw 😈.” I laughed, one area Bowie always had me, go from serious to laughter in one heartbeat.

I sat there staring at the phone. He was so far away. I wondered what he felt like. If I would ever get a chance to know. Overhead, the ravens swept across the sky cawing softly, instantly comforting me.