The Future He Still Spoke About: Book 2

A week had gone by and I still felt like I was in a zombie state. I was functioning while feeling nothing except pain and the constant ache in my chest. I didn’t want to eat. 

I was embarrassed to tell anyone I was back, what would they think? 

They all witnessed the enormous decision for me to change my life, move to another country, sell much of my stuff and decide to take a leap for love. I had no reason not to. Bowie and I had changed everything in our lives to make this happen, to get to the finish line. One of the most difficult journeys for both of us. He sent text after text with a countdown, making sure I was driving safely and we would soon be together. I could still feel the hug when I snuck inside before my mother had and then kissing him and how it felt. We didn’t want to let go. I was so confused. All the small memories kept popping into my head like little film reels. The morning he was heading off to work and I had caramel coffee foam on my lips and he kissed me and said, “a kiss much sweeter…” smiling at me as he left. I kept replaying a voice message he sent me three weeks before I arrived. He was so excited about me coming down there to live with him.‍ ‍

I don't really know what to do, so I'm just going to do this, which is, I love you very much. I'm reminded daily about how lucky I am to have you in my life, to have somebody who loves me the way that you do, who has stuck with me the way that you have through lots of things that would have made other people go, “fuck off, dude, I’m not doing this.” And I think you're beautiful. I think you're hot. I want you very much. I want you here right now. I wish you were here. And you know, I can't wait until you’re here all the time and  to make you happy. And I think it definitely will be easier when you're here, I mean, and we're able to see each other all the time. I’m so proud of you and what you've done in school and how smart you are and how much you've done with your business and your ideas and how you bring people in. And I know you're gonna be so good at what you wanna do. And I'm excited to watch you do it and to help you and to be retired and then just be able to be there to help you do what it is that you do. So, I don't know, I love you. So I'll talk to you soon.

The phone rang. I looked up. Oh boy, It was Jo. I answered, “hey”.

“So, what’s going on? Last time I spoke to you, you were outside your house in your car waiting to go in and talk to Bowie,” she was fired up. I could tell her protective energy was out ready to play. 

“Just so you know, we’re still together, I guess. He broke up with me and then said he still wanted to be together.”

“Okaaay, why are you back?” 

“I don’t know. He can’t do whatever this is right now.”

“Uhhh, it’s a little too late for that Rory. You spent thousands to get down there, you sold your stuff, you both got that place together, what am I missing?” She demanded. She was the only friend who had met him and had dinner with us. 

“I don’t know Jo,” tears began to fall. “I don’t know. I’m trying to understand. I think he’s overwhelmed. But honestly, I think he isn’t ready for the world to know I exist.”

“Rory. It’s beyond that. It’s been almost two years. C’mon. What did you put on your credit card?”

“Why does that matter?” I asked.

“Because he owes you, big time.” She was ready to raise hell.

“I don’t want to think about that right now. I will figure out how to pay the 4,000 off. My stuff is still there. I am still living there in every other way, just not personally there.” 

“Do we need to go down there? Because I’m ready. I’ve got a few words for him.” Jo was lighting up another smoke and readying herself for action. Meanwhile, I could barely verbalize. 

“I don’t know. I really don’t know,” I said. 

“Have you talked to him since?” She asked. 

“Yeh, on Zoom, we had dinner together.”

“What did he say?” I was under interrogation now, but I knew she meant well. She loved me like crazy and saw how happy he made me.

“He talked about the future. He talked about when I was going to meet his parents. He said he didn’t care what people think, but as he spoke, I just let the words sit there. I’ve been told that before when he said in a text, I want everyone to see what happiness looks like.” I sat on those words. They felt like a dagger as I said them aloud as I had thought about this over and over when he wrote it to me. I remembered a call one night where he said, I can’t wait for my parents to meet you. Did he mean any of it? 

“Well, he’s been saying all of this, but that doesn’t tell us at all why you are back here,” she said. 

“I know. And I can’t tell you just yet. I mean, he said we would start fresh in January and he has been talking about all of the stuff we are going to do. We even talked about a trip in March during spring break,” I started to try to turn things around or this was going to get ugly.

“Fine. I’m not happy with him, but fine. I love you and my loyalty is to you,” she said firmly. 

“Thanks Jo, I do appreciate you,” I said.