Everywhere I go

“Do you have bear spray?”

“No, I forgot it,” I texted back.

“Don’t make me come up there!” He was convinced I might get eaten or attacked by a cougar or bear. Not completely unheard of but I relished the idea he was concerned about me.

“I won’t. I will tell you when I’m back safe. About those photos..”  I reassured him.

“You better,” he warned sweetly.  “What photos?”

“Btw, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when you played way, way, way back when. No a lady bug, I ain’t no fly,”

“I want you to see me perform. Wait, you just said photos. How am I to know what photos? You made a big leap there baby.”

“I bounce all over, most likely my lack of focus haha, but I don’t remember now.” I laughed.

“And how many way, way, way’s did you feel you needed to use, might as well have said, back in the dark ages….” he shot back.

“Yes, way back in the dark ages, there was an ol’ fucker who performed on stage I wanna see,” I was being a smart ass.

“Do you know the song, Everywhere I Go by The Call? That is one I used to sing that I would have liked to sing to you.” I quickly jumped onto finding the lyrics. Found them. A-ha. I smiled widely looking at the lyrics.

“I haven’t heard of that song, however I like the thought that I’m on your mind all of the time.”

“And you are,” he replied.

“Sigh, the slight pervert who said Hi,” I began harassing him about when he came after me. It was so easy to banter with him and had become one of my favorite past times.

“Haha. Make me feel bad. Sounds like a book title,” he piped back. I laughed as it really did. I felt badly so I tried to change up the description for him.

“Or I know, the highly seductive hot, sexy guy who found his way to me. Better?” I asked.

“No, I like it as you stated it :)”

“Do you? Well then, later after hook, line and sinker. That’s right, you’ve heard that before. You’re in a relationship with a side of illness. But hey, let the chips fall where they may,” Obviously I was enjoying this, but I also knew he could put me in my place pretty quickly if needed.

“You will never let me live that down.”

“No,” I continued, “you sold me on,  fall for my incredible convos on taxes, coffee, investments, music and putting around.” Yes, Bowie finds himself putting around the house quite a bit getting into the role of “Mr. Fix It.” I liked this side of him. He didn’t talk about it much, but he had skills beyond music. 

“I want you, but I didn’t want you if you didn’t know the real me. I get your analogy, I just don’t like it. haha. But I’m not arguing,” Oh he went serious on me, but I appreciated the sentiment. I did want to know the real him.

“I do want to know all of you, the good, the bad and the annoying,” I said. 

“If this was going to be anything other than sexting, which I wanted, I wanted it to be real or not at all,” he said.

“Why did you want more?” I asked curiously.

“I just saw things in you, glimpses of things in you that I wanted to be a part of, know more about. Although it has turned out to be even more than I saw back then, by a lot.”

“Means a lot Bowie, reading this,” I kept walking breathing in the fresh air and smiling. 

“Are you still walking?” he asked.

“Yep, I have a few more blocks,” Walking had become my escape from reality where I could think about Bowie and my life. 

“I was just having some feels if I got all serious on you,” Bowie mentioned.

“There’s never enough feels, all good,” I said.

“I was literally trying to form my thoughts around the desire to spend more time with you,” he said.

“I love how you work on forming thoughts,” which admittedly was totally Bowie.

“haha.”

“Whereas I’m like, here ya go, whatever decides to spill from my head out through my mouth.”

“If I just did here it is, you would be like what is this crap, I can’t tell what you mean. It is hard to explain how my thoughts come in. I have to put some form to them or they make no sense.” I knew some of this as Bowie had brought up his ADHD and how he has to work things out differently. I was similar to him, however I rarely filtered.

“Form, that’s funny because verbally you never shut up,” I continued.

“You want me to shut up?” he asked.

“Never! It’s me that can’t shut up, let’s get real,” I laughed.

“I can shut you up,” he said confidently.

“And how’s that?’ I asked. 

“With a kiss, can’t talk kissing,” he texted. 

“Oh, I bet I could,” undoubtedly I rarely backed away from a challenge. 

“I feel you would try.”

“I’m getting close, I may do another couple of blocks. I wanted to say something after all my rambling shit. You turn me on like no one else. And I find you so incredibly hot. If no one has told you today.”

“You are the only one 😘😘😘😘😘😘. I hope you get home safe please. Not that I don’t have this thought, not inspired by you, because I do. You turn me on like I have never been turned on before, and you are seriously stunning. I am floored every time I see you and think, she actually likes me. This gorgeous woman likes me. 😘😘😘😘”

“Thank you Bowie 😘”

“And on your earlier rant about me being a pervert who said Hi…”

“Yes?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t change anything about how things started as it might have changed where we are now.” It was so incredibly sweet of him to say, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to respond. He sure liked his emoji’s though. I continued to walk back home. Bowie had stopped texting and I was in need of some dinner. I thought about our conversation. He really did turn me on 1900 miles away. I wish he could shut me up with a kiss. Sometimes the whole thing felt like a fantasy. The cold air felt good on my cheeks. I needed this breather today. Just then, one of my ravens swooped down cawing. He was so big and beautiful. I stood there for a moment watching him fly.

A text popped up, “Sorry, I’m back, had to do some light kitchen stuff.”

“I can’t go there,”  I found Bowie had to do a lot of the chores, kitchen clean up and cooking.

“Go where?” he asked.

“Move on,” I said.

“You move on,” he retorted.

“No, you move on,” I said back. We really were children sometimes.

“You move on,” he said back. Oh gosh, one of us has to end this.

“I have.”

“I don’t even know what I already moved on from…haha”

“Better for you,” I said not wanting to take it any further.

“I will take your word for it. 😘😘😘😘”

“Please do. Bowie?”

“Yes?” I could almost hear the way his voice stretched the word yes.

“If you ever play on stage again, promise me I can be there.”

“I promise, now are you finally home?”

“I’m home.” I smiled at my phone as I opened the door.

“Good.”